"All right, Marvin," Marley's attorney began, "tell us why you killed Dave Crachit."
"Very simple," Marvin began, "I sent a Fedex package to Efram Poppagill in London, England demanding that he pay $5,000 in back taxes for his businesses back home and up in Maine."
"And the package didn't get there?"
"No, it didn't! I told Crachit that the package he sent hadn't gotten there."
"He claimed that he checked on the Fedex web site and found out that the plane had crashed up in Canada."
"Yes, that's right."
"And when he told you about it, what did you say to him?"
"I told him to clear his balls out of there."
"So what made you decide to shoot him?"
"After he left, I looked on my desk and found that there was over $2,000 missing, along with a bag of coal and a can of coal oil."
"During the week prior to the shooting, he'd made several attempts to borrow some of your coal for his coal stove."
"Steal it, I say."
"So why do you think he was taking your coal?"
"I caught him trying to take some lumps of coal that morning and told him to put it back! I told him if he kept taking my coal, we'd be parting ways."
"Well, you knew that the bastard worked in a cold office. In fact..."
"Look, buddy! I try to keep a tight ship on my office. I told him to use his gloves or his mittens if he wanted to keep warm."
"And it's the incident that set you over the edge."
"That is correct."
"So you think he took your money and your coal."
"That is correct."
"Did you suspect anyone else?"
"Well, I saw his wife Belle running out with the money. And the coal oil and coal lumps. I told her to stop where she was, but she got away. I had to confront Dave and his idiot wife after that!"
"So you decided..."
"I had no other options. Crachit was bad-mouthing me behind my back! When I went back in after unsuccessfully pursuing his wife, I found a note saying, 'Mr. Marley, I quit! Your nephew's offered me a job in his firm!' I was pissed off!"
"So did you weigh all the options?"
"Yes, and I finally pulled out my pistol and went to the Crachits to confront them on the crime."
"When you knocked on the door, who was it who answered first?"
"Dave's wife."
"And you shot her first?"
"Yes! After all, she stole the money and the coal."
"How did Dave react?"
"He screamed and ran at me with a steak knife."
"So you shot him then?"
"That's correct! He schemed with his wife to steal my money on Christmas Eve."
"Did you attempt to harm their children?"
"No, I didn't. I let them get away."
"No more questions."
"Your witness, Mr. D.A.?"
"So you really hated Cracht," the D.A. began. "Did you really intend to kill him?"
"The bastard screwed up on a Fedex. Even though it was proven that the plane had crashed, nevertheless I wanted him to send Poppagill another package the next afternoon. But when he left me that note, I couldn't take it anymore."
"Really?"
"Really. I was pissed off that he had quit on me. So what does he do but make me look like a fool?"
"No further questions, your honor."
"The witness may step down."
"Thank you all."
During a recess break, Marley had to go to the bathroom. There was a guard to see that he came out once he finished. But when he failed to come out, the guard kicked down the door and looked inside. To his chagrin, Marley had escaped again. The trial had to be recessed until further notice.
To be continued...
