Monday, December 22, 2008


The year is almost at an end, and the trial of Marvin Marley is at an impasse. Up until early June, the trial continued in absentia(which meant that Marley was out the lam). The judge in the case went to move for an indefinite dismissal...which means Marvin may never come to justice.

Since he bolted from the court room on the first day of opening statements, there have been several sightings of him in different parts of the globe. One sighting, around the 4th. of July, found him running through the streets of London; another one, near 9/11, showed him walking through an open air market in Terehan, Iran. And this last one, this past weekend, had him mingling with some kids at a Christmas market in Vienna.

And still, the family of David and Belle Crachit are still mourning their parents and wondering what will happen next...but to tell you the truth, no one knows.

As Bobby "The Brain(Weasel)" Heenan once said, "There's just no justice in this world!"

To be continued later on this week.

Friday, December 5, 2008


Back in 1981, when I picked up my Sears Christmas catalog, some voice in my mind-resembling CBS News anchor Dan Rather-told me, "This is the last Christmas that you will ever observe! You've sold your soul to the Devil, due to expire at Midnight on your 21st. birthday!" Well, it never happened. It's because I saw a program reminder for a late night movie called "Dr. Faustus." That was just before I went to the Marshfield Fair with my family.
I guess it was because Mom asked me to guide my one of my uncles, who was visiting from Ireland, to guide him through the fairgrounds, instead of being able to wander around on my own. And I did so, albeit reluctantly...
But that's another story for another day....

For now, back to the story!
As Marvin Marley was on his plane flying towards his secret island off the Cayman Islands, he heard his cell phone ringing in his pocket. He picked it up and said, "Hello."
"This is the last Christmas that you will ever observe!" a voice said.
"What are you talking about?" Marley shouted.
"You're running away from the crime that you committed!" the voice responded.
"That's none of your business, you dickhead!" Marvin shouted.
"You killed my Mom and Dad," the voice said to him. "For this, you will pay."
"Up yours!" Marvin said. "What's your name?"
"I'm their youngest son, Toughie Tommy."
"To hell with you, kid!" He hung up and returned to piloting his plane. Toughie Tommy, he snarled to himself. That reminds me of....

Back at the trial, the opening statements were resuming with the district attorney looking ashen as he continued his argument.
"The sad fact that Marvin Marley killed David Crachit and his wife has not been forgotten by this community," the D.A. continued. "Dave couldn't make it on $35.00 a week, working in a drafty room, enduring verbal, and eventually, physical abuse. It all came to a head on the day he was killed when Marley refused to accept the fact that a Fedex package wasn't delivered because the plane carrying the package-among other parcels-exploded and crashed off the Newfoundland coast. He waved his cane, sending Dave down the stairs and injured him. That evening, he and his wife Belle were killed. And before he was busted, he shot at several people, including a child who later succumbed to his injuries.
"After he was arraigned, he jumped bail and headed up to Canada, where he was captured and expedited. And then, earlier today, he jumped bail again and has fled. But he is a murderer and a cheat! That's why he is on trial; but he has escaped again, so we continue the trial in absentia. I intend to bring to justice Bob and Belle Crachit's murder, whether he's here or not! I thank you all."

Monday, December 1, 2008


"I don't wanna do that!"
"Don't you want to be chased around by the secretaries in the leg..."
"I was gonna come in dressed in my pink underwear..."

The fighting started in the galleries and spread out into the courtroom, with punches flying and chairs being smashed in two.

"Order in the court!" the judge shouted.
"I'll have a cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato," one of the spectators shouted.
"This is a courtroom," the judge retorted, "not a drive-in restaurant."
Suddenly, the lights went out and total chaos held sway. When the lights were turned back on, Marley was nowhere to be found.
"I want Marley captured!" the judge shouted. "Get going!"

Without being spotted, Marvin Marley sneaked over to the cargo terminal at Logan International Airport and stole one of the small Cessnas that were being repaired.
"Hey, come on," one of the maintenance men shouted. "You're not permitted to take off!"
But Marvin ignored the guy and drove past him. Within seconds, he headed over to the runway and took off in a quick and clean manner(three planes almost collided into each other).

By the time the cops had made it over, they were too late. Marley was in the air and on his way to a secret destination. Seconds later, an all points bulletin was issued by Metropol, calling for his arrest and return to the United States.

The district attorney made the bold decision to go ahead with the trial, with the defendant being absent.

To be continued....

Visit these locations for 'round the clock Christmas Music through the holidays and all year 'round:

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


"Next," Collins continued, "he set the house on fire, causing the 5 kids to flee the scene. One of the nieces met the kids outside and he took a shot at her. The bullet entered her throat, cut her vocal chords, went on to snap her spinal cord and land in the head of a nearby dog. In his attempt to flee, he shot a 12 year old boy begging for change. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
"And finally, he went into a store and robbed clients of over $50,000 bucks in cash and jewels. He would've gotten away with it if it were not for our finest police men. I'm asking you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury to convict this tight-fisted Scrooge-like murder."

After Collins set down, the public defender, none other than Brian Jones, began his opening statement.
"The reason Mr. Marley is on trial, ladies and gentlemen of the jury," Jonesy began, "is because the decedent failed to have a package delivered to one of Marley's clients, Efeream Poppagill, who lives halfway across the world in London, England."

"Attention, everyone!" a woman's voice was heard.

As the reporters and spectators sat in the galleries, the lady in question, one of the court reporters, came in and announced, "The Company has set the theme for Valentine's Day. The men are coming in dressed in Pampers with little red sashes over their shoulders..."

The reaction was immediate! More later.


Let us now move to May...

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury," Dave Collins, the District Attorney began, "here you see before you is the defendant-one of the richest, and most tight-fisted, men in the country. A man who is responsible for the murder of his clerk and spouse. On Christmas Eve 2001, owing to a misunderstanding over a Fedex package that wasn't delivered, Marvin Marley confronted his clerk Dave Crachit and told him he was fired."

At last the trial's begun, thought many of us watching the proceedings.

"After being violently confronted by his clerk, Marley tracked down his whereabouts and arrived at his home in South Boston. There, he shot and killed him and his wife and permanently disabled one of their nieces, who was holding a Christmas Eve party for the family. Then he set fire to the house and left his orphaned kids without a home."

Continued through the weekend...

Visit for the 25 Days of Christmas coming this Monday!


So Marvin Marley was a fugitive on the lam from the law. Every single airport and border crossing in the USA was posting a wanted sign for him, but somehow Marley knew how to sneak through without being seen. After driving all day through Northern Massachusetts, New Hampshire and Vermont, Marvin ditched the car at the Derby Line General Store and tiptoed into Quebec, Canada without being spotted by the Mounties or the INS.

He'd picked up a fraudulent passport with the name of Carlton Dickens near Burlington and decided to sneak into the Great North before hitching a ride to Montreal, where he could board a plane for his native London, England.

Little did he imagine that when he walked into a town just inside Canadian space, someone spotted him and said, "C'est il!" (It's him!) Marvin recoiled in horror before jumping into a taxicab and speeding off(the driver had left his keys in the car). Naturally, when the cab driver saw his car disappearing, he motioned a nearby GRC (French for RCMP) squad car to follow it.

As Marley turned on the radio to the local English CBC station, the announcer was ordering all listeners that the RCMP had posted an all points bulletin for his capture, and that they were to be on the lookout for him. "If you spot Mr. Marley," the announcer said, "don't approach him yourself; call your local police detachment."

Damnit, someone had reported him to the Canuck Cops. "Turning to tonight's hockey matchup," the announcer began, but Marley turned the radio off. Within seconds, several Surete and RCMP cars were on his tail. Marvin shot the gas up to 100 mph. in order to out run them. However, the taxi sideswiped a chicken coop and overturned in the middle of the highway. Marley didn't have a seatbelt on, so he was ejected from the vehicle and crashed into the windshield of a nearby school bus.

Marley hit the ground with several cuts in his body as the glass fell out of him. Seconds later, 20 cops surrounded him. No sooner did they try to lay hands on him than he collapsed, moaning in pain.

To be continued...

Monday, November 17, 2008


"Marvin Marley has escaped from jail," one of the TV stations is saying. They're reporting that Marley sneaked out of his cell at the Charles Street Jail and is on the run from the law. Oh, great! They've got everybody worried. Also, Sandy Claws has been released on bail after the Governor spoke with the judge in his arraignment last week.
Meanwhile the weatherman is calling for another winter storm. Last week, they were predicting a foot of snow in Boston and along the Cape, but the storm moved over Boston, pushing the blizzard conditions into the western suburbs, while Boston was hit with severe thunderstorms that produced 3 tornadoes in Plymouth County and 2 more on Cape Cod. As far as the snow was concerned, we dodged a bullet. But with those tornadic thunderstorms, we got hit with a bomb! This time, however, the storm will stay South of us, putting us into 6 to 12 inches of heavy snow in the Boston and South Shore areas, with 5 to 10 inches in the Northern and Western suburbs. (There will be a change to rain on the Cape, though.)
As I change the channel, I muse on what's going on with Marley. The Crachit family's released a statement, stating their disapproval for the law enforcement's mishandling of the whole case. And they finish off wiith a threat: "If you people don't bring him to justice, we will!"
Hoo Boy!

Monday, May 12, 2008


This is a test post from flickr, a fancy photo sharing thing.

Monday, March 31, 2008


"You mean Santa's being charged with murder?" Dickie, the guy who ran the WXMAS station asked.
"No," the baliff explained, "it's the alias of a local drug dealer living in the North Dorchester section of Roxbury. Two nights ago, he shot a couple and 5 of their kids along with a dozen guests at their Christmas house party. The couple and 3 of the guests died; the others were wounded. Including the 3 kids...but they're gonna be all right."
"Looks like he'll spend the rest of his life in the can," Dickie said.
"No, this is a capital murder charge."
"What do you mean?"
"The legislature passed a comprehensive death penalty bill that the Governor vetoed. Both houses overrid it, so it's now a capital offense to commit murder here in Massachusetts."
"Oh, Christ!"
"How does your client plead?"
"NOT GUILTY!" the loudmouthed public defender yelled.
"People on bond?"
"People request remand, your honor."
"Nonsense. Mr. Claws is mentally ill, after losing his wife in a tragic car accident last Christmas..."
"I don't want to hear it!"
"But your honor...!"
Bang! The gavel fell!
"Defendant is remanded without bond! We will now go into recess!" With that, the judge began to step down from the bench. At this, the public defender shouted, "CHAMBERS, YOUR HONOR!"

Friday, February 1, 2008


There's a radio station somewhere in Boston's South Shore that transmits holiday music year-round. It's called WXMAS, and it's located at an internet site that shall remain nameless. The man who founded the station based his call letters on a karaoke machine that his family had in the mid 1990s.
One night, the night before Christmas Eve, the sounds of the synthesized music from the karaoke machine caused him to have a nervous breakdown. He spent a good hour crying over his years growing up. Especially at Christmas time when all his family & friends were there with him. Then one by one, they either passed on or moved away. He missed his parents, especially, since both of them had passed on in a violent car crash back in May.
Anyway, last February, he launched his own internet radio station called WXMAS. This would be dedicated to playing holiday music throughout the year. Not just Christmas music, mind you, but music for Valentine's Day, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Halloween, Hannukah, the patriotic holidays, and so much more. In between the holidays, you hear a mixture of ambient & alternative music called "The Mix Up."
Well, when he heard that Dave & Belle had been killed by Mr. Marley, he was at the courthouse to see the arraignment. And when he heard the "remainded without bond" words at the end of it all, he was relieved. Marvin was a tightfisted man who wouldn't permit any funding of the station. And when the Copyright Board threatened to raise the royality rights for his stations, he asked his listeners to pony up on contributions in addition to selling advertising on the site.
Anyway, after Marvin's arraignment was over, he hung around the courtroom for another arraignment.
"Docket #820818445, People Vs. Donald Sullivan..."
"Dan Cupid!"
"...a.k.a. Dan Cupid. Charges indecent exposure, solicitation for sex, and sexual assault."
Yes, Don Sullivan, the counterman at Steven's Liquor Store & Convenience Market up in Milton Village. Last week, at the Famous Lovers Ball, he came in dressed up as Dan Cupid and showed him a tatoo in a place I won't mention...
"How does you client plead?"
"Not guilty, your honesty!"
He knew that his defense attorney was from somewhere in Eastern Europe. So what? The important thing're good at what you do and you wni respect. Anyway, the guy had propsed a marriage between the two guys. But wait a minute! So what if Massachusetts allows that stuff? God frowns on it! The basic motto: love the sinner, but hate the sin he's committing.
"You've got to understand, your honest..."
"Donald pulled his Pampers and showed his tatooed naughty bits! And it was in a public place..."
"Your honesty..."
"To quote a famous playwright, 'I will be deaf to pleading or excuses....therefore use none!.'"
The gavel fell.
"Defendant is remanded without bond! Next case!"
As he bolted out, he could hear the bailiff shouting "Docket #9876543210H, People Vs. Sandy Claws...charges 5 counts of capital murder..."


Sorry, in the last post, I said that Bob & Belle Crachit were British citizens living here in the States. His name really is Dave Crachit, but he was a direct descendant of Bob Crachit, who lived in London back in the 19th. Century. Thought you'd need to know...