NEXT!

"Next," Collins continued, "he set the house on fire, causing the 5 kids to flee the scene. One of the nieces met the kids outside and he took a shot at her. The bullet entered her throat, cut her vocal chords, went on to snap her spinal cord and land in the head of a nearby dog. In his attempt to flee, he shot a 12 year old boy begging for change. He was pronounced dead at the scene.
"And finally, he went into a store and robbed clients of over $50,000 bucks in cash and jewels. He would've gotten away with it if it were not for our finest police men. I'm asking you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury to convict this tight-fisted Scrooge-like murder."

After Collins set down, the public defender, none other than Brian Jones, began his opening statement.
"The reason Mr. Marley is on trial, ladies and gentlemen of the jury," Jonesy began, "is because the decedent failed to have a package delivered to one of Marley's clients, Efeream Poppagill, who lives halfway across the world in London, England."

"Attention, everyone!" a woman's voice was heard.

As the reporters and spectators sat in the galleries, the lady in question, one of the court reporters, came in and announced, "The Company has set the theme for Valentine's Day. The men are coming in dressed in Pampers with little red sashes over their shoulders..."

The reaction was immediate! More later.