Friday, December 5, 2008

THIS IS THE LAST CHRISTMAS THAT YOU WILL EVER OBSERVE!

Back in 1981, when I picked up my Sears Christmas catalog, some voice in my mind-resembling CBS News anchor Dan Rather-told me, "This is the last Christmas that you will ever observe! You've sold your soul to the Devil, due to expire at Midnight on your 21st. birthday!" Well, it never happened. It's because I saw a program reminder for a late night movie called "Dr. Faustus." That was just before I went to the Marshfield Fair with my family.
I guess it was because Mom asked me to guide my one of my uncles, who was visiting from Ireland, to guide him through the fairgrounds, instead of being able to wander around on my own. And I did so, albeit reluctantly...
But that's another story for another day....

For now, back to the story!
As Marvin Marley was on his plane flying towards his secret island off the Cayman Islands, he heard his cell phone ringing in his pocket. He picked it up and said, "Hello."
"This is the last Christmas that you will ever observe!" a voice said.
"What are you talking about?" Marley shouted.
"You're running away from the crime that you committed!" the voice responded.
"That's none of your business, you dickhead!" Marvin shouted.
"You killed my Mom and Dad," the voice said to him. "For this, you will pay."
"Up yours!" Marvin said. "What's your name?"
"I'm their youngest son, Toughie Tommy."
"To hell with you, kid!" He hung up and returned to piloting his plane. Toughie Tommy, he snarled to himself. That reminds me of....

Back at the trial, the opening statements were resuming with the district attorney looking ashen as he continued his argument.
"The sad fact that Marvin Marley killed David Crachit and his wife has not been forgotten by this community," the D.A. continued. "Dave couldn't make it on $35.00 a week, working in a drafty room, enduring verbal, and eventually, physical abuse. It all came to a head on the day he was killed when Marley refused to accept the fact that a Fedex package wasn't delivered because the plane carrying the package-among other parcels-exploded and crashed off the Newfoundland coast. He waved his cane, sending Dave down the stairs and injured him. That evening, he and his wife Belle were killed. And before he was busted, he shot at several people, including a child who later succumbed to his injuries.
"After he was arraigned, he jumped bail and headed up to Canada, where he was captured and expedited. And then, earlier today, he jumped bail again and has fled. But he is a murderer and a cheat! That's why he is on trial; but he has escaped again, so we continue the trial in absentia. I intend to bring to justice Bob and Belle Crachit's murder, whether he's here or not! I thank you all."

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