Friday, February 1, 2008


There's a radio station somewhere in Boston's South Shore that transmits holiday music year-round. It's called WXMAS, and it's located at an internet site that shall remain nameless. The man who founded the station based his call letters on a karaoke machine that his family had in the mid 1990s.
One night, the night before Christmas Eve, the sounds of the synthesized music from the karaoke machine caused him to have a nervous breakdown. He spent a good hour crying over his years growing up. Especially at Christmas time when all his family & friends were there with him. Then one by one, they either passed on or moved away. He missed his parents, especially, since both of them had passed on in a violent car crash back in May.
Anyway, last February, he launched his own internet radio station called WXMAS. This would be dedicated to playing holiday music throughout the year. Not just Christmas music, mind you, but music for Valentine's Day, Easter, St. Patrick's Day, Mardi Gras, Halloween, Hannukah, the patriotic holidays, and so much more. In between the holidays, you hear a mixture of ambient & alternative music called "The Mix Up."
Well, when he heard that Dave & Belle had been killed by Mr. Marley, he was at the courthouse to see the arraignment. And when he heard the "remainded without bond" words at the end of it all, he was relieved. Marvin was a tightfisted man who wouldn't permit any funding of the station. And when the Copyright Board threatened to raise the royality rights for his stations, he asked his listeners to pony up on contributions in addition to selling advertising on the site.
Anyway, after Marvin's arraignment was over, he hung around the courtroom for another arraignment.
"Docket #820818445, People Vs. Donald Sullivan..."
"Dan Cupid!"
"...a.k.a. Dan Cupid. Charges indecent exposure, solicitation for sex, and sexual assault."
Yes, Don Sullivan, the counterman at Steven's Liquor Store & Convenience Market up in Milton Village. Last week, at the Famous Lovers Ball, he came in dressed up as Dan Cupid and showed him a tatoo in a place I won't mention...
"How does you client plead?"
"Not guilty, your honesty!"
He knew that his defense attorney was from somewhere in Eastern Europe. So what? The important thing're good at what you do and you wni respect. Anyway, the guy had propsed a marriage between the two guys. But wait a minute! So what if Massachusetts allows that stuff? God frowns on it! The basic motto: love the sinner, but hate the sin he's committing.
"You've got to understand, your honest..."
"Donald pulled his Pampers and showed his tatooed naughty bits! And it was in a public place..."
"Your honesty..."
"To quote a famous playwright, 'I will be deaf to pleading or excuses....therefore use none!.'"
The gavel fell.
"Defendant is remanded without bond! Next case!"
As he bolted out, he could hear the bailiff shouting "Docket #9876543210H, People Vs. Sandy Claws...charges 5 counts of capital murder..."

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