"You mean Santa's being charged with murder?" Dickie, the guy who ran the WXMAS station asked.
"No," the baliff explained, "it's the alias of a local drug dealer living in the North Dorchester section of Roxbury. Two nights ago, he shot a couple and 5 of their kids along with a dozen guests at their Christmas house party. The couple and 3 of the guests died; the others were wounded. Including the 3 kids...but they're gonna be all right."
"Looks like he'll spend the rest of his life in the can," Dickie said.
"No, this is a capital murder charge."
"What do you mean?"
"The legislature passed a comprehensive death penalty bill that the Governor vetoed. Both houses overrid it, so it's now a capital offense to commit murder here in Massachusetts."
"How does your client plead?"
"NOT GUILTY!" the loudmouthed public defender yelled.
"People on bond?"
"People request remand, your honor."
"Nonsense. Mr. Claws is mentally ill, after losing his wife in a tragic car accident last Christmas..."
"I don't want to hear it!"
"But your honor...!"
Bang! The gavel fell!
"Defendant is remanded without bond! We will now go into recess!" With that, the judge began to step down from the bench. At this, the public defender shouted, "CHAMBERS, YOUR HONOR!"