Thursday, December 24, 2009


Well, here he was on Christmas Eve! Marvin Marley was walking through a small town in Central Ontario, Canada, which shall remain nameless. All I can say that it was just outside the Greater Toronto Area(which I have never visited myself).
"Merry Christmas, sir," said someone who passed him by.
"Bah! Humbug!" Marvin shouted.
"You don't mean that, do you?" the man said.
"You better believe it, jerk!" Marvin snarled as he walked away. He came across a Salvation Army bell ringer who asked him, "Will you help us out?"
"No!" Marvin shouted. And he walked down the street towards a group of singers performing "Deck The Halls!"
"Shut up!" Marvin screamed. "And stop that wretched singing!"
Suddenly, one of the ladies in the choir kicked him right in the groin. The force of the kick caused him to collapse. Just then, 2 RCMP officers picked him up.
"Okay, buddy!" the first one said. "Let's go! You're coming with us!"

Marvin was back inside a jail(this time in the aforementioned town) when the second cop came and greeted him, "Merry Christmas, Mr. Marley!"
"Bah! Humbug!"
"Bah humbug yourself!" the officer said, slapping him in the face. "Well, I heard about what you did to one of your clerks and his family."
"He was stealing money from my coffers at the office," Marvin shouted stubbornly.
"That's no excuse!"
"How'd you guys find out about me?"
"You were on that plane that crashed, weren't you?" the Mountie said.
"Yes," Marvin admitted. "I was."
"Well," the Mountie said, "you're the only survivor..."
"I don't want to hear no more caca!"
"You are caca! And I hope your bag's packed, because you're going back to Boston on the next plane!"

2 hours later, Marley was on a private plane rented by the Canadian government and headed on his way to Boston. When he arrived at Logan Airport on Christmas morning at 3 a.m., he was met by a group of people who pelted him with everything from tomatoes to rocks. He suffered injury in the melee and had to be rushed to the hospital.

Meanwhile, at a house on Boston's beautiful North Shore(which can't hold a candle to the South Shore, since we've got the best towns and attractions)...

"I'm not going to represent my Uncle at this trial!" Fred Marley, his nephew, said to his wife Kumi, who was dressed in a black tutu preparing for her performance in "Swan Lake" that evening at Harvard University.
"He is your Uncle, Fred," Kumi reminded him. "After all..."
"I know," Fred shrugged. "But still what he did to Crachit's family was inexcusable."
"Still," Kumi said, "you can find something to defend him on."
Fred thought about this, then said, "You're right. He was delusioned over what his clerk did-or didn't do-that Christmas. And of course, there's his father's beating him when he was young."
"The same man that assaulted me when I was in High School back home in Japan," Kumi reminded him. "He was on a business trip..."
"You're kidding!" Fred said.
"I've been afraid to tell you this, Fred," Kumi said gravely. "But here goes..."

"Mr. Marley," Officer Paul Kelly said to Fred as he arrived at the Charles Street Jail to talk with his uncle. "Your services won't be needed for your Uncle."
"What are you talking about?' Fred said.
"Marvin called his lawyer Mr. Johnny Fezziwig when he got in this morning."
"What? The son of Dave Fezziwig, the man Scrooge was apprenticed under?"
"Yes. He's talking to him right now."
Fred was so mad that he stormed out of the jail house. Later, when he told the news to his wife, Kumi said, "That Fezziwig is gonna take a fall!"
"What do you think we should do?"
"Nothing-for now. Let's let this game run its course before we do anything about it."

To be continued.....

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